Stuck…

Trapped Much??!
Trapped Much??!

I feel like Paul sometimes: The things i want to do, I do not, the things I don’t want to do those I do. Why I feel like this, I have no idea why. I am a christian no doubt, I go to church, I attend all the meetings (bible study, prayer meeting, cell meetings) biko what haven’t I attended. I’m even a worker in church.

My friends have laughed at me, they’ve called me names, I do all the things for God, yet my life is still the same. Struggling with sin after sin, day after day, hitting the clubs on friday,  indiscriminate sex on Saturday and still leading worship on Sunday. It’s not that it doesn’t eat me up on the inside, because trust me it does.

I’ve tried to change, I’ve repented time after time saying this would be my last, but each time, feeling like such a farce. I’ve tried to preoccupy my mind, with activities,  jumping from units to posts, racking up responsibilities but the devil still works in the midst of my accountabilities ready to point out my inadequacies.

Who’d save me from this cycle of despair? Who’d bring me to the place of repair? My life used to make sense before Christianity, now my heart is filled with such obscenity,  who’d save me from the shackles of religion, who’d free me from the guilts i cannot mention.

I’ve struggled for a while and frankly I’ve had enough. Christianity i know shouldn’t be this tough!!! Like the proverb says: “Stop treating the symptoms and treat the root cause”. I have decided to go back, straight back to the source, I’ve decided to go back to the way it once was.

I’ve come bare, naked before you God. Baring my weaknesses, I’ve come humbled before your throne. I’ve tried to do it on my own, but clearly my strength just isn’t enough. In short, I need you to rescue me, I need you to save me from my shackles and free me from these chains called religion.

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I've been set free by Grace...

I’ve come bare, naked before you o God. Humbly before your throne, baring my weaknesses, I embrace your strength. I do nothing of my own, yet I do all things, for You in me: are my strength. I no longer seek rescue, for in you I stand, shackled yet free, yoked in your abounding grace. I’m stuck in love with You, a relationship with You: The gift that keeps on giving!!!

Serve God but don’t get stuck in Religion- Pastor Vic Idemudia

I Remain
Ochuko A. Akpomudjere

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8 thoughts on “Stuck…

  1. This is really me in this post— trying and trying over and over again. Doing the last paragraph is pretty hard because at the back of my mind something tellsmeI will fail again… kinda weird. But a friend once told me the fact that you are making a concious effort to live for God is a good thing; the fact that you feel the tug of war inside you is ood enough- if you dont, that means your Christianity is lukewarm…dont really know though

  2. What an insightful post. We grow in grace & truth sets free. Freedom is maintained with a daily dose of truth, the loving arms of community, and the discipline of accountability…

    The ‘illusion’ of function is the ‘wrongest’ barometer with which to measure progress. It is like saying I do therefore I am, instead of I am, therefore I do. My epistle is long … enough said 🙂 Thanks for sharing, we are all equally in need of grace.

    1. Couldn’t have said it better myself.We grow in grace & truth sets free. Freedom is maintained with a daily dose of truth, the loving arms of community, and the discipline of accountability… Actually spent minutes meditating on this. Thank You for commenting (Sorry about the late reply)

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