Forgiven? (1)


I hurt a friend once, I did somethings I ended up regretting. Trust was broken, words were said, hurt spread like a cancer n before I realised, we were worlds apart. I acknowledged that I was at fault, and I apologised and asked to be forgiven.

Days passed until eventually she said “I forgive You”. They say it’s never too late to be forgiven but as at then I just didn’t care anymore. I could care less if she had forgiven me or not. It just didn’t matter to me anymore.

The funny thing was that when she said it, I felt at ease, I had told myself I didn’t care anymore, but then I felt freedom, true freedom. At least I thought so. Weeks passed and though she’d forgiven me, we hadn’t spoken since then, not even once.

I ran into her some days later (weeks really), we got to talking and she said she missed our awkward conversations and I said I missed our friendship and she laughed and asked “Did we ever stop being friends?” A question that rang in my head for the couple of minutes we were together.

In reality, she had forgiven me and let go, while I claim to have forgiven her but yet I held on to the hurt. I had let the hurt get in the way of our friendship and even though she knew we were still, I felt other wise. I realized that in actuality, i had not truly forgiven.

“It’s easy to say “I forgive You”, but true forgiveness lies in forgetting all the hurt you once felt”- Ochuko A. Akpomudjere

In reality, true forgiveness is not easy anyone who tells you that is lying. You can’t truly forgive without the help of God. I learnt this the hard way. Later on as I was pondering I heard vividly:

I am not asking you to just forgive, I’m asking you to let me in so I can help you forget

Unforgiveness is a cancer that just keeps spreading, till lives and beautiful relationships and beautiful relationships are ruined. However I have also realized that true forgiveness cannot be achieved through your efforts alone but also by the help of the Spirit.

I Remain
Ochuko A. Akpomudjere

*So about my recent absence from blogosphere, I’m really sorry, life happened and I had to respond appropriately. Anyway I’m back, Thank God.*


13 thoughts on “Forgiven? (1)

  1. Buddy!!! Great to have you back and with a remarkably wise post, no less.
    Yes, God’s Spirit does help us do&become beyond our natural capabilities.
    May we be pliable in His hands, learning lessons to enjoy the best quality of life&love.


  2. Being having experiences with forgiveness,unforgiveness and letting go for a while now, even right now…I scribbled down my thoughts on it and everything you wrote is just sooo true.
    True forgivess,letting go and leaving the hurt behind can only come from God being at work in us, if we leave it to our own stregnth,the episode keeps playing itself in your head and you feel pained over and over again. Tis only through God we can indeed live forth forgiveness in all our relationships/friendships.
    Thanks for sharing this and welcome back Ochuko..*big smiles*

  3. i have a question. what if you didnt feel sorry, what if you didnt ask her for forgiveness? i mean sometimes some people wrong us and they dont feel sorry, they might not even be aware of the hurts they have caused us, what then? i am struggling with forgiving someone that hasnt acknowledged that he was wrong, that he is sorry.

    1. Ok, in a situation like this, it’s quite possible that the person doesn’t know that they have wronged you. In this situation, you should tell the person involved. However, in a situation where someone hurts you and doesn’t acknowledge that he’s wrong, you’re still supposed to forgive. It’s never easy, but with God’s help, it soon becomes a reality. Thanks for the comment 🙂 Hope to see more of your presence here.

  4. @tyc the best is to tell the person in question, since he/she is unaware of the hurt #though it’s not easy#
    incase it comes out fruitless, leave it to God..

  5. I’m not sure if we forget in the sense of never ever remembering. I think what happens is that the sting of the incident disappears to the point that when we stumble on the memory, we laugh, it has no effect. Nice one Ochuko, relationships can be hard to navigate without bucket loads of forgiveness. Welcome back!

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