Now That I Have Your Attention, I Don’t Actually Have A Title For This

The air is tense, of course it is, it’s a Friday. I know what you’re thinking, Friday? Tense? Well it was, it always is on fridays, Fridays in this bank are nothing short of hell.Β It’s friday, the last working day of the week, of course the bank is going to be filled. Usually three kinds of people usually fill up the bank on fridays.

There’s the 10% who come to make deposits, the 5% who come to withdraw in bulk (The Rich People), the remaining 85% who come to withdraw for the weekend, usually their last savings (The ones who haven’t heard of an ATM machine b4) and Lastly the Bank Staff (Yeah I know I said 3 but no one ever counts the Bank Staff, we might as well be pieces of furniture in the bank for all you care.

I stare at the large clock in the hall, it says says the time is 10 past 1, *sigh* post lunch madness is about to begin. I stare at the line forming in front of the my counter, might as well get it over with, the line isn’t going to get rid of itself. I see a familiar face. Back so soon Mrs Badmus? *Wonder who she would be sending money to today. Her Son in Lagos? Her daughter in Abuja? Or that lowlife gigolo who’s been fingering her brain?

Well who am I to judge? We all have our dirty little secrets. Besides it really isn’t any of my business. So what can I help you with madam? Ah yes, it’s about the transaction I made yesterday, I realized that the money hasn’t yet been debited from my account, I want to know if it’d be possible to alter the transaction, I’d like to send some extra money to my son. I’m sorry madam, we can’t alter the transaction but you can make another transa…..

Boom, my voice trails away, the floor shakes. I reach under the counter, my hand fighting to reach the alarm button, when bang the computer screen in front of me explodes,  glass shatters everywhere, shards piercing my skin. In between the commotion,  a voice rings out

*Sorry about the mess and commotion, it wasn’t really part of our original plans. Please resist the temptation to trigger the alarms, I promise we’d be out of your hair in no time. Well now that we’ve got all your attentions, I hope you all brought your bibles, I have someone here who’d like to talk to you about a man named “Jesus”*

I Remain
Ochuko A. Akpomudjere


14 thoughts on “Now That I Have Your Attention, I Don’t Actually Have A Title For This

  1. Haha! Classic! Ochuko Classic! I definitely didn’t see that coming.
    My word! Boy! You upped the ante. Colour me all impressed, will you?
    This post definitely earns you forgiveness for going AWOL. πŸ˜€

    P.s: Christians now taking it by force uh? Accept Jesus or accept Jesus. #Wearechristiansandweain’tnoterrorists.

  2. Where is this story going to? I am intrigued by the merging of the disorienting events at the end and the name of Jesus mentioned to be yet introduced to the, should I say, Victims. If there is a sequel, I am already in the queue of readers.

  3. “Or that lowlife gigolo who’s been fingering her brain?”- Hahaha! this killed me. This story has a certain intrigue to it. I’m not entirely sure what the story is or where it is going, but i’m loving it. Great stuff bro!

  4. Nice one; took me by surprise. Don’t write a sequel if you didn’t intend to at first. Leave us with shattered glass and scattered thoughts like shards piercing our skin. In this commotion, we’ll make up the story as we go. Just my two cents πŸ™‚

      1. Haha by the way word went out last week that boko haram isn’t a muslin movement. It’s sponsored by some politicians in the east and south. Reason why the killings of Muslims is prevalent. Oh and Christians are the worst extremists there is too!

  5. LoL. My bad. Be honest. You haven’t been in Nigeria for long that’s why… Christians are the extremists in Nigeria… overpowering even the Muslims in another dimension. It’s a religious age now.

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