Slapped For Your Efforts…

Don’t argue with me, I’m telling you that I don’t want to see you with that Kafayat girl ever again. Why? Because I said so. But you still haven’t told me why you’re saying so. Bolaji do as you’re told and stop arguing with me, or would you like to continue this heated discussion with your father?

You this ignorant child, I’m telling you, you cannot be relating with all these Muslim girls & you’re asking me why? What do you know about life? What life have you lived? So because of those shrubs growing under your chin, you think you’re wise enough to make decisions on your own?

It has always been like this with my parents, first it was Osaramen my sit mate in Primary school, my mum came to school to tell my teacher to have my seat relocated because she didn’t want me having to sit with a potential wizard. In her defense though, something just didn’t feel right about the boy.

Then it was the time she made me return a goody bag I’d gotten from school cause she’d seen a movie in which Children were been initiated into Witchcraft through things they were given. I still remember the beatings I got when she found the goody bag under my bed some days later.

I have received enough beatings to know when to just romance the handbrake in issues like this, but this one I couldn’t just let go. Mama, if you want to kill me, just kill me now but I’m not leaving her. Oh I see, you love her? Is that what you’re going to tell me? *SLAP!!!* God I asked you for a son, you gave me an idiot?

What do you know of love? Ehn, tell me? So because you’re schooling abroad, you now think you’re a white boy? You are a Christian, her entire family are Muslims? The bible said, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers and you want to marry into a family of Muslims? Mama, you haven’t been to church in 6 months and you’re preaching about unbelievers? Bolaji, will you keep quiet?

Mama, some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, happen to be Muslims. Her father is a strong supporter of Buhari, and so what mama? Oh so you’d rather have a former Muslim Dictator as president? And what has your Christian President done for you? Nothing? Absolutely nothing in over 4 years? Mama, elections are tomorrow and I’d vote whoever the hell I want. Not who you tell me to vote? Not who Kafayat’s father tells me to vote.

It’s my vote and I’d vote whoever I see fit to vote for. It’s my life and I’d spend it with whoever I want to. Yoruba, Hausa, Christian & Muslim, what are they but mere titles? We are first of all, Nigerians and beyond that we are Humans. Why can’t we just live together in peace and harmony? SLAP!!! You must be very stupid. Funke!!! Find my phone and call the Pastor, tell him Bolaji has been bewitched.


I Remain

 Ochuko A. Akpomudjere

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3 thoughts on “Slapped For Your Efforts…

  1. Tnx Mr Ochuko, let Nigerians put aside religious n tribal sentiments n Vote wisely. Our vote is our voice n our rights not ourr parents or spouse directive rights.

  2. Haha! I enjoyed reading this. You passed an important message in such a nice way. Nigeria is getting burnt because we see ourselves as Yoruba, Christian, rich or whatever before we see ourselves as Nigerians. May our story start changing as a result of our votes tomorrow.

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