So we’re back from our 1 week hiatus for the last 2 episodes of our series. Yes all good series last 10-13 episodes. Plot Twist? I won’t be writing the last episode :p that post is reserved for ….. well you’d see it when you see it. So sit back, slowly eat your popcorn/ your breakfast and enjoy…
Heys no dull o, no just f*ck up our plan, no be now wey we don dey outside the bank you go begin shake. The job easy die, we waka inside, we wave gun small, shout, shoot one of the guards for leg make them get say na Gun we carry. Na very simple something, enter inside, display for like 5 minutes, waka comot with our money. You no wan do am? E too hard? Abi you no just get liver? I dey tell you, just light this one, no smoke everything, just small, your eyes go clear wella, you go begin feel like commando.
I have to run, that’s what I have to do, RUN!!! I’ve killed a man. It was supposed to be a routine op, a simple robbery. I don’t know what came over me, I just pointed the gun towards him and squeezed, I don’t understand! The gun was supposed to be empty. We were only supposed to load one of the guns to fire the guard and scare the people. What have I done? My job was simple, check to see that the backrooms were clear.
How was I to know that Tinuke would be here? Oh wait she said something about an interview the last time we spoke. Why did it have to be today? Why did it have to be this bank? Why did it have to be this branch? Why couldn’t that bastard just have kept his hands away from my sister?
I’d always know about periods, growing up our father used to always excuse our mother’s irrationalities with them. They’ve been married for 25 years and she has almost killed him 14 times (that I know of). I remember asking him once why He was still with her and he said “Love is a weird thing, she might be crazy sometimes but she has her moments and it’s those moments that makes this all worth it, You’d understand when you’re older.
My earliest memory is of my father calming us after one of our mother’s outbursts saying “Don’t worry about her, she’d calm down eventually, she’s on her period”. So it was with dread that I approached my teenage years, dreading the day that it’d happen to me too, my first period I mean. It wasn’t until it finally happened that I realized, maybe it wasn’t the periods, maybe my mother really was mad after all.
My teenage years weren’t all bad, for a while it was fun. At the very least, I think I experienced love, actually no it sucked. It was a classic tale of girl grows boobs, girl catches the attention of a certain boy, boy treats girl like the title of a Rihanna song (only girl in the world), girl falls in Love, boy invites her to his house, boy does his worst, luckily girl doesn’t get pregnant, unluckily girl ends up scarred for the rest of her female years, Girl’s mother as we’d find out later was too busy sleeping with the guy who pays for boy’s diapers.
Why am I remembering this now? Ah yes, well probably because I’m at a Bank for a supposed job interview and you’d not believe who’s sitting across the Table from me. Boy!!! Yes that bastard is back from whatever cursed hole demons crawl out from, what does he want? #DontLetTheDevilUseYou I will not sleep with you to get this job. Crap!!! He’s locked the doors.
Papa Tinuke is a useless man!!! He can’t take care of his family, He doesn’t have a job, He’s a licensed wife beater and his children have doctorates in surviving torture. Oya na, tell them, go outside and tell them. Go outside, knock on all the neighbors’ doors and tell them how me I want to kill you, isn’t that the usual gist? Isn’t that what you always do? Oya go, the door is open go and do your usual ritual.
You didn’t tell them of the time you poured hot water on me because I questioned you about the used condoms I found in our waste bin. Or the fact that we now have to tell our neighbors that Morenike is in school, when you and I both know that your former boss came here with papers claiming to be her real father and took her away. Or the fact that I can’t look at our other 2 children without wondering if the really are mine. Speaking of our children, our son has been on the run for weeks and now this?
I’ve been patient forgiving and all kinds of loving but this one just doesn’t make sense. You have been calling me useless for years and now that I managed to secure a loan to start up a business you’re telling me you gave it to your pastor as “First fruit”? Funke? You must be mad? Infact your father… I’m going to Jamal’s house to discuss business, God help me, if by the time I come back, you haven’t called your Pastor to return my 500 thousand Naira, all those stories you tell our Neighbors, we’d reenact one of them today. #DontLetTheDevilUseYouAgain You think you’re the only one the devil can use? Funke, I swear He’d use me today too…
Ochuko A. Akpomudjere